Tuesday, June 26, 2007

my room is a mess, much like my life

I've been trying for weeks to clean my room, but every day i get distracted by something different. Today it was robot chicken, and a really sunny day outside (i went to a movie, thus not actually taking advantage of the sunny day, but I still left my room for something other than work or band practice).

Here's a quick update on the past few weeks:

-dude almost choked to death on his own vomit in my cab
-put in my notice at my house, I'm moving into a smaller house for shiv and i to be alone
-didn't clean my room
-got older
-ate ecstasy for the first time
-had breakfast at a strip club the morning after having dinner at a strip club
-got a hundred dollar tip from a total crazy person, but I'm not complaining
-still haven't cleaned my room
-missed Natalia's art show, but tried to get a ride up there...
-my cab broke down again two nights ago, but wasn't a huge deal
-two of my best friends don't have phones so now it's impossible to get a hold of anyone
-shiv ate a hole in my wall, and now lives in her crate when I'm not home

Sunday, June 10, 2007

RADIO CAB 17 - naked bike ride and a long night

tonight i worked for 14 hours, with no real breaks except for about a half an hour i spent stuck on on the hawthorne bridge with 2 to 300 naked bicyclists. that's right, there were fucking hundreds of them, all naked, well most were naked. I was surrounded! they were obviously out to get me, the nudity must have been their idea of a distraction or something, i was already tired and on my last leg when they came at me, boobs flying, dicks swinging and vajajas blazing. they must have terrorized the town for two hours, and the whole city just stopped and stared in awe and perverted amazement. i've never seen so many butt cheeks so tightly clinched to so many bicycle seats. there were tall bikes, mini bikes, road bikes, mountain bikes; there was even an old man with his naked dog in a side car bike. maybe next year i'll be one of the crowd.

random quote of the night, "this makes me want some balls squished up against my face." -anonymous bystander.

for more info on the world naked bike ride click here

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE records and i get a new record

...so we had another recording session today with PLEASE STEP, it went pretty well. we recorded at this new place on hawthorne called.... i forget, but it was really fucking nice! the guy was cool too. our friend Ezera knows the guy and he's just getting the place off the ground. we did it all digital, but in the background the whole time was an older dude fixing a 24 track 2 inch tape machine that was used to record METALLICA's black album. anyway, we got 3 songs done, and on the way home i got the new WEEDS reissue lp. it's so fucking good, i almost don't want to go to the show tonight so i can stay home and listen to it over and over again.

tonight is PLEASE STEP with PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES and some other band with some members of PGMG. it should be a really good show, but it's 15 bucks so i'm sure no one will be there to see us.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Pizza and a day off

called in sick today for pizza and band practice. zach has friends in town, maybe i'll hang out with them. i'm going to get dressed now.

RADIO CAB 16 - rap off and the starlite parade

this saturday was the starlite parade in portland, that's the day that the city fucks all night cab drivers right in the ass, don't worry they get the day drivers the next day and the following sunday. a night parade basically means that all the roads downtown are blocked off, then filled with the most vile retarded and incompetent suburbanites they could find, and these morons are calling cabs. there's no way of getting to these idiots cuz all the roads are blocked, so all the cabs in the city are on the east side of the river trying to avoid the mayhem. if you're unlucky enough to have a fare take you into the madness, you'll be happy to escape with your life. last year at this time i was dropping someone off at his apartment downtown during the parade and he had me cut through a parking lot to get to his building, the sign said do not enter in big fucking letters, but nooooooo why would i have listened to that. i cut through and after he gets out i pull out onto the nearest street, and sure enough i'm in the fucking parade. some high school band in front of me and a damn float the size of a woolly mammoth in back. some cop flags me down about a block away and clears a path for me to make my retreat to safety, but at least for a minute Radio Cab was honored in the starlite parade, and i was their humble representative.

on Friday, the day before the parade nonsense i had my first run in with a battle. at least i think that's what it's called. i was dropping off a woman at her house, she was paying with a card and taking her sweet ass time getting out of the cab when two early-twenty something hip-hoppish-gangster style type dudes walk up to the cab from behind, one on each side. The white kid tries to open the door but i've already locked it. no sense scaring the lady in the back with some hoodlum trying to take her cab when she's still in it. he says he wants a ride and i tell the guy to wait. the black kid had already walked away. when the lady in the back finally gets out this kid jumps in the back and says some bullshit about broadway cab (the other cab company in town), he says he wants a flat rate to a club down the street. i tell him it's a busy night and i'm not doing flat rates, but i'll run the meter if he wants to go. he agrees but he's not happy about it. he makes me wait for almost 5 minutes for his friend to jump into the front seat, apparently the guy went into a house or something. as soon as we take off the kid starts rapping in the back seat. and not very well. but he is defiantly trying to put me down with his rhymes (that don't rhyme at all). he tells me that he only has seven bucks so i pull into a parking lot when the meter gets up to the seven dollar limit and ask for the fare. he proceeds to rap at me from the back seat. for the life of me i couldn't think of the word battle. so i telling him, "i'm not going to have some kind of fucking rap-off with you for this cab fare, just give me seven bucks and get out." he keeps rapping. his friend in the front seat is looking kind of worried, he starts yelling at the guy in the back. eventually the poorly rapping white guy in the back hands me a sweaty wad of money, looks to be only four dollars. i tried to argue with the dude but he wouldn't stop rapping, and his terrible rhymes were giving me a headache, so i unlocked the doors and let him loose on the world, the black kid in front shook my hand and said he was really sorry. i should have just rapped him for it, it would have been funnier.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

THEE ELECTRIC WITCH - tour notes

these are my tour notes, to be expanded and explained at some later date.


May 15, 2007: Pre-Trip Bullshit - skipped last day of work (bad idea), Joe NOT coming now, drank in the morning, spray paint, erands, tacos, finally on the open road

May 16, 2007: Eugene, OR - handcuffs, snakeshots, pizza research institute, tour bus, Howard Willet, UpShit Creek, skateboarding, Sussane is a bad ass, and slow motion in a college town

May 16, 2007: Oregon Coast - sleeping in back, sleeping in front, beatuful empty beaches, hit a deer, greesy spoon ("is that your vehicle?"), got jam?, no tripod

May 17, 2007: Redwood National Park - our map sucks, cute park ranger, elk prarie, Veronica is coming, no scams @ elk prarie, don't steal tents - it's bad karma, tequila was a dood idea, driving was a bad idea/must find Veronica, high speed persuit of cell phone coverage, cooking tuna is not easy on a camp fire, but roasted garlic is good, Vern's truck was not made for sleeping in, grapefruit breakfast, elk poop and shiv, we're off...

May 18, 2007: Whiskeytown, CA - must swim, icecream bar, glasses, two cars, Vern has ADD, passed on a new/used tent, trift shop husband/wife duo, big foot shop - pictures but no beer, Whiskeytown General Store, swimming at oakbottom, canceled Davis show for more swim time, kidnapped the Vern, camped off I-5...

May 18, 2007: Camping on the Cheep - $12 campsite, grandpa host, elevated fire pit, lots of tequila, sleeping in Vern's truck again, Justin witnesses beastiality in the campsite bathroom, Judy sees my butt threw the glass, early morning drive to Dixon for coffee and tacos

May 19, 2007: San Jose, CA - the gingerbread house, the todd, Talaquepaque and chevalles (negro modelo w/ tequila and lime juice), drum sticks, Joe, Alan has a plan for fatherhood, Claire, Zola, Mike, Amazing band from Tacoma (gave me a boner [and she stayed the night...]), Bejork tries to fuck things up for us, show goes super late, tequila flows as the show dies down around 330am, the todd is wasted, air matress and a dark room=pure bliss

May 20, 2007: The Morning After - good karma is closed for a memorial service/wake thing that Joe and the todd want to go to, but dont; we eat at La Vic, good orange sause and quesedillas; pack shit and hit the road

May 20, 2007: San Francisco, CA - we're late but need gas, get there and we're early (magic), 10 bands show up to play, the return of Howard Willet, cops shut down the show, w all go inside, the show must go on, Thrillhouse Records is the coolest record store ever, doom bands are rad, new unit breed record is good, punk rock fight over a parking spot, east bay tiki bar w/ lauren, smoking in california is way different (not always in a bad way to meet your neighbors), joe/lauren/chris smelly sandwitch

May 21, 2007: Oakland/Berkeley, CA - breakfast, old lesbians are funny, free produce in Alemeda, dog park nap, shatuck/telegraph, present for sister, present for nephew, running out of money, amazing books for me (oscar zeta acasta - if you don't know, find out), fat slice, more drumsticks, greg ashley merathon in the car back to fresno

May 22, 2007: Fresno, CA - stole brother's bed last night and woke up mom at 1am with many dogs, 7 dogs at mom's, lounged around in Reedley all day shiv and vlad are in fucking heaven, starline is awesome, Baker drives down from Yosemite, Dad comes to show, Scott Dean and girlfiend come to the show, and Pat and Holly show up, tons of old faces: John Thompson, Ben Goodlad and his sister, Mandy Mooooooo....etc, Crystal bartending means lots of tequila, Jeremy Miller and baby Dave with Mike Alamano who buys us more tequila. we play really bad, justin flips off the crowd, oh well... i brake all my sticks and have to play them backwards, then break the backs of more sticks, many cuts on my hands, Molusky is funny, $60 door money, starline gril (smoking), Robertitos, Matt's house, drive to reedley @ 4am, wake up mom again now with 8 dogs and Baker, See my new nephew jace and Pat/Roy for lunch in the morning and eat some good steak

May 23, 2007: Fresno/Yosemite, CA - breakfast in reedley with Pat and Roy and Sam and Jace, dogs still in heaven, lounge all day in reedley, drive the tracktor, hit golf balls, play with dogs, grocery store, drive to yosemite, cabin is amazing, for sale for 1.3 mil, judy makes spanish coffee, i pass out early

May 24, 2007: Yosemite, CA - best sleep yet, 8 mile hike straight up a fucking hill to see some awesome waterfalls, kicked ass @ clue (mr. green in the Conservatory with the knife), fell asleep on the couch (judy made more spanish coffee)

May 25, 2007: Fresno, CA - woke up on couch in yosemite after a bad dream about all my friends fucking deborah, showered, packed looked around for long sleeves to wear so my dad can look me in the eyes, bottled wine with my dad (the '06 couve), dinner with dad, tanya, david, azra, katherine, and miya (it's katherine's aniversary, but teja died last year), plans to see sam, left dinner to see sam, but she cancels, turn around and go to matt's, meet/hang out/get totally smashed with REV (fresno radio DJ), sleep on the couch

May 26, 2007: Fresno, CA - woke up at Matt's drove to Oakhurst waited 3 hours for Baker to bring my bandmates, Oakhurst sucks balls, cancelled on grandma/pa, went to fulton mall for tacos and nonscense, phone fight with trav, went to reedley, soaked in spa, visited Sam and Jace at their new apartment, mexican food in Dinuba, saw Pirates 3, more spa time slept in a chair

May 27, 2007: Fresno, CA - wake up in Reedley early, visit grandpa, visit grandma and connie, and see aunt linda, back to reedley for lunch with mom john aunt kathy walter and the band (salmon, snapper, and shrimp) took band to the ranch to see grandpa and drink grappa, went to dad's for wine tastings dinner and much more grappa, judy learns to drive stick cuz me and justin are way to drunk on Croatian moonshine and homemade wine. sleep excelent this night

May 28, 2007: Oakland, CA - woke up early, talked with Kathy and Walter, found out my cousin in a gold miner in Whiskeytown, paked the trailer, mom gave me lots of potery she made, got a check, but not alowed to cash it yet, but i'm totally out of money, buy more drum sticks in Clovis, finally get on the road and out of this miserable town, stop in los banos @ subway, tried to drive by windmills, but got stuck in trafic, got to show late, tons of crusty punks and black metal kids @ nate's house, drank wine, Vern showed up, then disapeared after we played, got really drunk, Laruen tries to get fresh, justin puts a stop to it.

May 29, 2007: Santa Cruz, CA - wake up still totally fucked up, stomach in knots, hang out in lauren's room, watched "Palendroms," talk with rory, hang out with NEVER ENDING PARTY durnig acoustic practice, try to fix judy's cabinet (no luck), check out Brett's studio (we're going to come back to record there), try to get NEVER ENDING PARTY to play with us tonight in Santa Cruz, but nate had a date with his mom cuz he fucked up mother's day, drofe to Santa Cruz, showed up on time, bad scene, TR was there though, no other bands playing, we play one song and Justin trows his mic stand at a fat guy in a hawaiian shirt who got in justin's face and told us to turn down, we get cut off, and kicked out, not to return to the boardwalk for 12 months (jason presley), TR put us up, made chevalles in a giant punch bowl on their counter, walkd to SC Diner @ 3am, slept on sidewalk for a bit, TR Rules!, pot makes us weird, slept on the floor

May 30, 2007: On the Road - breakfast (again) in SC @ zachary's (no mike's mess), no luck at streetlight, Santa Cruz sucks, TR Rules!, now we're on our way back to oakland to switch bass amps with lauren, then we need to get the fuck out of California...

...this is as far as my writen journal went, but in Oakland we took our sweet ass time and stopped at golden lotus for lunch/dinner, and didn't get out of the bay area til almost 8pm. we drove as far north as we could and got a hotel in methford, i mean medford. in the morning we drove up to Eugene for our court dates ( the result of the handcuffs, and drinking in a parking lot). Court was kind of a joke but we had to go, they lowered our fines and changed everything from criminal charges to violations. we ate in Eugene and got back to portland around 6pm. Tour with 3 people is the way to go, less fights, less smells, less off all the bad stuff. this was a great fucking tour!

THEE ELECTRIC WITCH - may tour 2007 (thanks/no thanks)

thanks to:
my mom, john, sam and pat; all their dogs for keeping our dogs company; my dad, tanya and miya; mato's vino, jose quervo, takate, and charles shaw; of course Chavelles, and Talakepake; Veronica and her roomy truck; Whiskeytown; the Todd, and the Gingerbread House; Joe, Alan, Claire, Zola; all doom bands; old lesbians in resturants; Lauren; Nate; Thrillhouse Records and Corbit; Robertitos; Matt Molusky, Joe Litchenberg, and all the tons of amazing Fresno people; the fulton mall; Baker, his mom, and his cabin; 8 mile hikes; my Grandfather; Ian and the Trigger Renegade kids; Rory, and Lauren's other roommate; and all the bands that were actually willing to play with us.

no thanks to:
Eugene, OR; Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk; bad hang overs; bbq'd gofer; broken stuff; 8 mile hikes; the price of drum sticks; the temperature in Fresno; all fat men in hawaiian shirts everywhere